"Til death do us part"...It is not a cliche'

"Til death do us part"...

It is not a cliche'

The most difficult years of marriage are those following the wedding. A successful marriage does not just happen. It takes alot of hard work...and commitment.

It is not uncommon to discover that while one spouse has struggled with leaving, the other spouse may find it difficult to cleave. And certain challenges may emerge at different stages in a marriage.

Here is the key passage on marriage in the Bible: 

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. 

Genesis 2:24 (KJV)

Let us learn what the word "cleave" means in the Hebrew language:
To cling
to follow hard
stick together
to abide
to adhere

This reminds me of the first time I used Krazy Glue. My mother told me not to get it on my hands but being the stubborn, hard headed child that I was mixed with a bit of curiosity did not listen to her heeding. I spent a few hours and a lot of pain trying to separate my thumb and forefinger from each other.

The word cleave in this context literally means to stick together but not temporarily...permanently like gluing two broken pieces to make one.

So why is divorce so prevalent in today's society? I believe it is because of two problems: one or both of the couple never really left and one or both of the couples never cleft. You MUST do BOTH to have a successful marriage.

In closing I would like to leave you with 7 ways to help a couple to be successful in cleaving to one another:

1. Make a commitment to one another for life. Agree that divorce is not an acceptable option and choose to work out disagreements and difficult situations.

2. Reserve the expression of your sexuality only within your marriage. Don't go looking for new and exciting, make your own new and exciting.

3. Be content with what you have and do not try to live above what you can afford. Most marriages end over two things and one of them is MONEY. Don't take on more debt than you can afford and quit trying to keep up with the Joneses. They are not as happy as they appear.

4. Make an effort to prevent other people, activities, or responsibilities from infringing on time spent with one another. This can be a difficult one because today most couples both have to work to make ends meet but make time for your spouse and family. Don't look for reasons to be away from them.

5. Forgive one another before walls are built between you. Be honest with your spouse. If your spouse has hurt you in the past, forgive then MOVE ON. You can not move on holding in past hurts and holding grudges. It is impossible. When your spouse confides in you about past hurts or situations, don't go blab them to your girlfriends (or guy friends). Listen to them, thank them for trusting you and let them know you do not judge them for past mistakes.

6. Do not seek revenge from past hurts to retaliate against your spouse. I hate to bust your bubbles but EVERY couple is going to have a disagreement or an argument during there marriage. Tiffany and I have a rule that we try to adhere to but sometimes it is difficult. Anything that has happened 24 hours ago is of limits in any argument or disagreement. This rule helps not bring up past hurts because as you know words hurt worse than physical attacks because you can not take them back after you say them.

7. Last but not least, put God first in your marriage. God should be your highest goal to reach as a couple. How do you do this? You have to love God more than your spouse, more than your parents, even more than your children. This is hard for some but you also have to love God more than money. The Bible tells us that the love of money is the root of all evil, not money is the root of all evil. You have to have money but don't let money have you!

Today is the day to change the direction of your marriage if it heading in the wrong direction. Recommit yourself to your spouse. Rebuild a lasting love relationship with your spouse. Most of all start putting God first in your marriage and you will see a huge difference in how your relationship will grow into the beautiful union that God intended.

This post is linked up on Fellowship Friday and The Weekend Brew! Click on over to discover more enriching Christian posts!

Leaving: Saying Good-bye to Your Parents!

LEAVING

So long, See ya later, Good-bye!

What picture comes to mind when you hear these words? Your mom standing on the doorstep with tears welling up in her eyes? Your dad giving you a big, strong hug before you leave? A newly married daughter waving out the window as she is leaving the church?

Although some "good-byes" can be very joyful, they are usually quite emotional. Particularly when it involves a mother and father letting go of their son or daughter.

God's Word presents clear and concise directions concerning leaving. These Bible study questions are designed to encourage you to consider how Biblical principles could have personal application to you in your marriage.

Mark 10:6-10 (The Message)
⁶  In the original creation, God made male and female to be together.
⁷  Because of this, a man leaves father and mother, and in marriage
⁸  he becomes one flesh with a woman—no longer two individuals, but forming a new unity.
⁹  Because God created this organic union of the two sexes, no one should desecrate his art by cutting them apart."
¹⁰  When they were back home, the disciples brought it up again.

Lets see if you can answer these questions as it relates to the Bible and your own marriage.

 1. Since when has "leaving" been part of God's design for marriage?

2. Why does the newly married couple need to leave their parents?

3. What did "leaving involve in your marriage?

4. If you had to leave all over again, what would you do differently?

In order to have a successful marriage a husband and wife has to LEAVE their father and mother and CLEAVE to each other. This is an important biblical principle that is left out of the pulpits in churches today that needs to be addressed. Once a couple is successful in doing this then and only then can the two become one flesh. 

We will more go more in-depth on the subject of cleaving in my next post