Be A Beautiful Wife Inside AND Out

Things have been a little silent here and that's my fault. I told Billy that I had a post planned and so he's been waiting on me to do this post. But I fought myself and God, trying to figure out a way out of this post. And it's silly because at this point in my life and my relationship with God, I already know that fighting him isn't going to help me in any way. And it's not going to make me feel any better. 

This is going to be a post about being a beautiful wife, inside AND out. Why would I try to talk myself out of writing this post? Because I don't always practice what I'm about to "preach".  Being a beautiful wife for your husband is a very important part of having a successful marriage. 

Wait...WHAT? 

Before anyone starts hurling out statements about how the outward appearance shouldn't matter and "Well, the Bible says outward beauty isn't important".....hear me out. And then you can say whatever you want. 

As a wife you are an extension of your husband. Anything that you do reflects back on him just as everything we do as Christians reflects back on God. @WeDoForever {tweet this}

Being a beautiful wife isn't just about outward appearance, although that will be part of this post. Being a beautiful wife also means being beautiful on the inside, where it counts the most. As a wife you are an extension of your husband. Anything that you do reflects back on him just as everything we do as Christians reflects back on God. If you do something negative or something that others view in a negative light, it will reflect back on your husband and it will also hinder your opportunity to guide others to a relationship with God. 

This is something that I struggle with; not as much as I used to, but it is still a struggle. I had to learn early in our marriage how to gracefully handle people who wanted to come in between Billy and I instead of lashing out or causing a scene. I was 23 when Billy and I got married and was very hot-headed. Especially when it came to someone intentionally hurting the feelings of someone I cared about. And I had to learn how to curb my tongue and think before I started speaking so that I did not say something I would regret or say something to embarrass my sweet husband. These days I try as hard as I can to avoid people in our lives that I know are going to upset me but if I have to interact with these people I keep things as cordial as possible and then instead of lashing out, I pray for God to help me have peace with the things these people say and do and I pray for them that God will work in their hearts and in their lives to change whatever makes them so spiteful, hateful, and just down right mean. I do not engage in confrontational conversations or let them bait me into anything because I do not want my behavior to reflect poorly on Billy. 

When it comes to other people, I am learning to be more compassionate and caring of others not just because I want to be a good representation of my husband but also because I want others to see God's love in me. When I interact with people, I want them to feel God's love emanating from me so that it causes a hunger in them for God's word. I do not want to be the type of person that is Christian in name only. And as someone who has severe social anxieties, it is something I must work harder and harder at every day. 

But what does this have to do with being beautiful? 

Everything. It has everything to do with being beautiful, with being a beautiful wife. You want your soul to be the most beautiful thing that other people see; especially your husband. He's the one who fell in love with you after all! You want a compassionate, caring, considerate soul and a desire to serve your husband as his wife. Your inner beauty is what shines through to make your outer beauty that much more breath-taking! 

Speaking of outer beauty.....is physical beauty really all that important? 

Yes and no. 

There are several passages in the Bible that talk about the outward appearance and how the focus should be on the inward appearance instead. (1 Peter 3:3-4, 1 Samuel 16:7, John 7:24, 2 Corinthians 4:16). But do these passages mean that God does not want us to pay any attention to our outward appearance? I don't think so. While focus on inner beauty and your connection with God is far more important, outward beauty is still something to be addressed. We are made in God's image. That statement right there means we are already beautiful! But, if we are made in God's image, should we not take care to preserve this image? 

Part of our human, sinful nature is to be attracted by beautiful things. I do not believe that the serpent in the Garden was just your average run of the mill grass snake. I believe he was a beautiful awe-inspiring creature that captivated Eve's attraction to beautiful things. Our eyes naturally gravitate to things that are pretty. And at some point you attracted your husband's eye with your outward beauty. Your outward beauty is what drew him in and gave him the desire to know your inner beauty. So many times, myself included in this, women get married and have kids and lose themselves in the care-taking of everyone else in the home. It becomes second nature to put yourself last and neglect your outward appearance. That's not fair to you or your husband. You deserve to feel beautiful and your husband deserves to keep that beautiful wife he fell in love with. And if your husband is anything like mine, he probably tells you that it doesn't matter if you're bald-headed and wearing a potato sack; he'd still love you. And that's amazing! But as a woman I know sometimes it's not what you want to hear. 

Taking care of your appearance not only shows that you care about yourself but also about your husband. Just as you deserve a husband that you can be proud of inside and out, your husband deserves to have a wife he is proud of inside and out. You are also teaching your children that while it is important to help others and take care of those you love, it is also important to take care of yourself. If you're feeling down about yourself, it will show in your attitude and how you interact with others. If you're feeling low, how do you expect others to believe you when you talk about the joy of God's love for them? If you look rundown and unkempt, your message may be hindered. how can you tell someone that God is doing amazing things in your life and has given you a wonderful life if you can't also show them? Unfortunately, there are a lot of "Doubting Thomases" in this world who have to see in order to believe. 

By being a beautiful person inside and out, you can inspire others, including your husband and children, to do the same. Outward beauty is in the eye of the beholder so my standard of beauty and your's may not be the same thing, but that's okay! I feel like I a completely new person when I get my hair done. It changes my entire mood and I feel more confident and ready to take on the world. When I paint my nails a strong, bold color, I feel more powerful. When I look nice outwardly, my social anxieties are not as prominent. I feel confident in myself and I hold my head high, ready to strike up a conversation with anyone who walks by. I've "let myself go" so to speak since having a child and being married and being a stay-at-home parent. Sweat pants are more comfortable. Ponytails are more manageable. Why should I wear makeup when I'm just hanging out a home? I'm just running to the grocery store so I won't worry about fixing my hair or changing my stained t-shirt. So I go out looking like a rundown, frazzled mommy instead of a proud mother and wife and people see it in my appearance. And then instead of being able to witness to people, I get sympathetic looks of "Bless her heart," or "Does she get dressed in the dark?" And I know that because I've thought the same thing of other women I've seen who have "let themselves go." 

One of the most common things I hear from men and women I know who have had issues with infidelity in their relationships is that they no longer found their partner attractive. Their partner stopped taking care of their hair, gained a lot of weight, became a slob, etc. While there is no excuse for infidelity, no matter the circumstance, I can understand how a person gets to the top of that slippery slope. When the person you've been so attracted to becomes a person (outwardly) that you hardly recognize, it can take a toll on your relationship and your marriage. 

I'm not telling you to become a vain person and only focus on your outward appearance or that your outward appearance is the most important thing, but you should be diligent about maintaining a nice appearance for several reasons. It shows that you are proud of yourself and proud of being your husband's wife, it helps your inner light for God shine even brighter, and it shows that you are proud of being made in God's image. 

What steps do you take to maintain your inner and outer beauty? Do you feel more confident when you take care of your outward appearance? What do you struggle with more, maintaining your inner beauty or your outer beauty?